Currently it is 3 days before I make the small but important journey to Cambridge to begin my life as a ordinand properly.
I’m not quite sure what Im feeling really. Tomorrow is my last day at work and so there are lots of emotions tied up to leaving the children and colleagues I have met over the past year. It has made such an impact on me and I think I’ve learned a lot about how I want my ministry to develop. Even in a secular environment it has been so fulfilling for my ministry and it has helped me to grow.
Last Sunday I went back to London to preach at the church I used to work at. It was such a good weekend to go back and so many people gave me their well wishes and prayers. I really needed it.
It was mostly weird to be back in the habit of trying to write a sermon. I have to say it wasn’t one of my best, and I was mostly unprepared. But it felt good to be back in the pulpit (despite being stared at by a baptism party of 100)
I suppose it just reminds me of everything I am about to take on. I’d love to end up in a church like this one day. Weirdly one of the somewhat modern churches that I actually like. The ceilings especially. It also just reminded me of what a fantastic church family I have, and how even though I am not back very often that I am always welcomed. The church has moved somewhat and there has been lots of new life. Luckily I got cuddles with new babies and all the children have grown so much since I’ve been gone. But going back there always feels like going home, and I am so thankful for that.
I spent the Saturday catching up with a good friend of mine and wandering around Camdan market. Oddly enough I know lots of people who happen to be starting theological college this year too, and its been good to have those people around.
So I took my friend to lunch and then we walked around the market. Knowing Camden quite well I was able to navigate us to the best possible place for dessert. The most magnificent doughnut stall near the stables market was a perfect place for us to pick up a treat and talk about all things ordinand.
Also it just made me think about how important it is to keep up these things whilst in training and beyond. I need my friends, I need normal things and of course I need giant doughnuts.
Peace and Joy.
Note: This was posted late, because of how busy I’ve been.
Yesterday I was trawling through peoples blog posts and found one by a good twitter friend of mine about the wait before beginning training. And it just really resonated with me. This waiting thing is hard.
I had my BAP at the end of April and so received the news about my recommendation on May 8th. Since then I’ve been on an interview and accepted my place for Theological College and now I’m just waiting. My DDO has been busy with ordinations, and so I don’t think my paperwork has been the top of her list! (and rightly so!) In a way I just can’t believe that is all real. That in a matter of 13 weeks I will be unpacking my stuff at Westcott and beginning my life as an ordinand. It also feels a bit strange because technically I class as an ordinand, but in my head I need to start college before I officially count.
In a weird way its like waiting for a letter from Hogwarts,telling me that I am officially a wizard. I’m expecting to get this big letter in the post with a large list of all the weird and wonderful things I will need for college. Although I expect that shopping for a cassock will be a lot less interesting then buying a wand.
Me and my friend Fr Ben at his ordination to the priesthood
This week has been especially weird with all of the ordinations that have been happening. Its been like a constant reminder of what will happen with me in a few years. I went back to the parish where I was Pastoral Assistant (I haven’t been back since I went to BAP) and I had so many questions about what was happening. One of the most common responses I got was ‘Oh so you are defiantly going for it then!’ I laughed and said that it wasn’t me who was thinking it over, but the Church! There were also a few people who said “Well it will be you next!” After watching the Curate Fr Ben get ordained. It was all just a bit scary at times, but good to know that there is a church community who are looking out for me.
Talking to several of my friends who are also waiting to start Theological College in September I know that I’m not alone. One of my close friends even managed to sum up both our feelings into a Christological analogy. “You know how Jesus is both fully divine and fully human, well I am both fully petrified and fully excited.” A perfect way of summing it up if you ask me!
In a way I am so thankful for the summer to have some family time, and get everything sorted before entering into Theological College. But in another way this summer seems like it is going so slowly!
I’m sure 13 weeks will pass in no time!
Peace and joy.